“Do not speak unless you can improve the silence” -Proverb

Words to live by, although no one actually does. If there is one thing we all do to much of it is talk. Or tweet. Or blog. Most people don’t listen to other people, the world, even their own hearts.

Wow, that was a warm and fuzzy sentence. Enough of that. The next little experiment I tried was that I decided to not speak for 7 days. I thought about going my normal 30 days, but that seemed a little extreme since I have family, friends, work and fellow commuters that continually need me to vocalize about something.

So I started with 7 days. Also,instead of lying and saying I lost my voice, I carried around a little card that said, “I have taken a vow of silence for 7 days, so suck it.” I didn’t think it would be that hard since I still have all the electronic communication methods.

Boy, was I wrong.

Damn bugs.

I had to go out and buy something. Wasp spray! I have a giant mess of them swarming all around building nests on the house and fence. So, I had to go get some spray. There goes my first buckaroos, 7 to be exact.

But other than that, I haven’t purchased anything but gasoline and food! No one is more amazed than I am. Someone did ask me to donate some money to a disease related charity, but I had to say no. Maybe next month.

Scoble had to go and mention that Asus 1000, damn him. Well, whatever, I can resist that. Now come May 1st, all bets are off.

So the first thing I realized is I buy coffee way more often than I thought. I thought maybe a few times a week, but it turns out to be more like a few times a day! You don’t realize how much your co-workers and friends are always going out for coffee. So, I had to make my own or go without. Maybe I should have done 30 days with no coffee this month as well.

Then I had my hedge trimmer break in the middle of spring cleanup around the country estate. What to do? Fix it? Not likely. Buy another one, you know the answer to that. So, I asked the neighbor to borrow one. Imagine that! Not only did I get to chit chat with the neighbor, but I didn’t have to spend any money. I also borrowed a power cord, since I ran over mine with the mower. You think it was just one of those days, but I think those days happen more often than you think and you only think about it when you can’t buy anything to help.

So far, so good, I think the weekends are my big spending days, so we shall see.

Total spent on stuff that isn’t food or gas: $0. Booyah.

What do a USB humping dog, a gorilla suit, and a new iPhone, updated every time another comes out have in common? They are all good examples of stuff I probably don’t need right now. But, yet, I own them all. Embarassing? Hell yes! Sometimes I wonder what the person in some other country is thinking while assembling the dog. I assume they know what country will import it and sell a bunch. So I decided to step back a bit. Most people in the world live on the change I use for coffee everyday so maybe I can lessen my spending. At least for 30 days.

Now, this is not going to go over well with the people who want the economy to get going again, when people save their money, it doesn’t help things. But maybe the economy should be based on stuff we actually need, that seems like it would be more stable. But, I’m not an expert and we all know how right experts usually are regarding the economy.

So for the next 30 days, the month of April, I will severely curtail my spending. But first, let’s get some ground rules down.

The first is to make a list of the things I have to use, no matter what. Now some of you may argue, but that’s too bad, this is for me and my situation.
The second is you don’t talk about… oh wait. that is something else, guess there is only one rule.

So here is my list of purchases that I will have to make:

• Food, this can only be the raw ingredients, no $6 coffee, common sense applies.
• Gas. Yes, I know you live somewhere that has great public transportation, I don’t. But I do get around 35mpg, so that isn’t too bad.

Hmmm.. Can that really be it? I’m sure I’ll remember what else I use everyday, but that is the point of all this. To get to know myself and my spending ways.

So I was sitting around the other day, catching up on some blogs that I haven’t read in a while. One of these is Steve Pavlina’s blog which I stopped reading for a while because it got a little to preachy/spirtual/his wife talks to dead people. But, he has had some really interesting stuff over the years so I thought I would see what he has been up too. I also happened to be watching the latest episode of Big Love and thinking about how crazy having multiple wives would be, financially, emotionally, sexually, etc. And I was thinking about how to have the benefits of multiple wives and not any of the trouble. And believe me, there would be trouble. And then Steve came right into my brain and smacked me around and gave me the answer, which would become my next 30 Day experiment. I would become, for the next 30 wonderful days, polyamorous.

What is Polyamory you ask? I had never heard of the word before, it wasn’t even in the dictionary until a few years ago. Well, according to Wikipedia,

The defining characteristic of polyamory is belief in the possibility of, and value of, multiple romantic loving relationships carried out “with the knowledge and consent of all partners concerned.”

My first thought, after picking myself off the floor, was “wwwoooooohhooooo!” It took a while, but eventually some perv.. errrr very loving man came up with a very intellectual word for sowing his seeds in other fields. What a great idea I thought. I’m sure most men have LOTS of love to give and just too few people (read:1) to share it with. Why not share it with as many people as I could, as many times as I could (Which at my age, is probably only once or twice). Revolutionary!

Now, the first thing you need, is a understanding wife. How Steve got his to go along with this, I have no idea. After that, basically a few lessons from Mystery and you are ready to hit the club scene to share your love. Again and again and again. Then when you are exhausted, go back home to your loving wife who supports you in everything you do.

So, my first step was to tell me wife that I was basically going to start seeing other women. But I still loved her and would expect her to behave herself and continue to be a great wife, at home. That is when I for the first time in my life, I had a object thrown at my head by my wonderful wife. Now, I don’t know if she was just firing a warning shot and that is why the shoe missed me, but I decided to make a quick retreat to the safety zone (garage). I hid behind the air compressor until I thought it was safe.

That turned out to be about 4 days, I got real hungry. I’ll put this one in the failure category.