Some top phrases containing 8 words (without punctuation marks)	Occurencies
look what i woke up to this morning	4
twittytv episode #18 the definition of let’s go	4
the world premiere of diddy bop on p	4

Some top phrases containing 7 words (without punctuation marks)	Occurencies
in case you missed it here is	5
look what i woke up to this	4
what i woke up to this morning	4
to buy your new no bitchassness tshirts	4
the world premiere of diddy bop on	4
episode #18 the definition of let’s go	4
world premiere of diddy bop on p	4
new single imma put it on her	4
twittytv episode #18 the definition of let’s	4

Some top phrases containing 6 words (without punctuation marks)	Occurencies
single imma put it on her	5
click here to watch http //tinyurl	5
today is gonna be a great	5
in case you missed it here	5
twitty tv episode #26 http //tinyurl	5
case you missed it here is	5
show them the power of positivity	4
make the world a better place	4
what i woke up to this	4
i woke up to this morning	4
world premiere of diddy bop on	4
#18 the definition of let’s go	4
episode #18 the definition of let’s	4
premiere of diddy bop on p	4
lol ptwitty question of the day	4
look what i woke up to	4
life is what you make it	4
the world premiere of diddy bop	4
twittytv episode #18 the definition of	4
to buy your new no bitchassness	4
new single imma put it on	4
buy your new no bitchassness tshirts	4

Some top phrases containing 5 words (without punctuation marks)	Occurencies
ptwitty question of the day	29
i’m a work in progress	11
imma put it on her	10
in case you missed it	10
click here to watch http	8
get him to the greek	7
the definition of lock in	7
thing i’m gonna work on	7
brand new episode of p	6
single imma put it on	5
is gonna be a great	5
the world premiere of diddy	5
today is gonna be a	5
here to watch http //tinyurl	5
you missed it here is	5
case you missed it here	5
who wants there ptwitty tv	5
twitty tv episode #26 http	5
tv episode #26 http //tinyurl	5
the definition of let’s go	5
locked in movement roll call	4
is what you make it	4
episode #18 the definition of	4
make the world a better	4
day 26 album in stores	4
i woke up to this	4
lol ptwitty question of the	4
reach the 1 000 000	4
the devil is a liar	4
what i woke up to	4

Some top phrases containing 4 words (without punctuation marks)	Occurencies
ptwitty question of the	32
question of the day	32
last train to paris	27
click here http //tinyurl	19
a work in progress	13
new episode of p	12
imma put it on	11
i’m a work in	11
have a blessed day	10
the locked in movement	10
do you want your	10
case you missed it	10
in case you missed	10
put it on her	10
are you locked in	9
you can do it	9
god is the greatest	9
click here to watch	9
here to watch http	8
the world premiere of	8
the definition of lock	7
new day 26 album	7
what you doin tonight	7
definition of lock in	7
brand new episode of	7
him to the greek	7
dreams do come true	7
get him to the	7
thing i’m gonna work	7
may god bless you	7

Some top phrases containing 3 words (without punctuation marks)	Occurencies
let’s go people	66
is locked in	52
of the day	38
question of the	36
ptwitty question of	32
lets go people	28
click here http	27
train to paris	27
last train to	27
locked in movement	26
is my hero	25
in the studio	21
1 000 000	20
here http //tinyurl	20
can do it	20
where you at	19
click here to	19
the definition of	18
what’s your name	18
spread the word	17
i’m about to	17
shout out to	16
live from the	15
new episode of	15
a blessed day	15
what you doin	14
p twitty tv	14
god bless you	14
must be love	14
day 26 album	14

Some top phrases containing 2 words (without punctuation marks)	Occurencies
let’s go	258
http //tinyurl	200
locked in	157
lets go	142
go people	99
in the	93
of the	83
lock in	75
click here	64
to the	63
thank you	58
http //tiny	56
if you	56
is locked	54
about to	50
the day	50
we are	49
for the	46
i love	44
go to	43
have a	43
to go	42
on the	41
i will	41
rt now	39
do you	38
the world	38
the studio	38
are you	38
do it	37

Unfiltered wordcount :

I have a lot of shit!

And, I mean a lot! I wanted to get rid of a bunch, but was overwhelmed by how much I have. Don’t even get me started on the dreaded garage. You know, the place in your house that you can’t actually fit a car? Even though you have a 3 car garage! I can barely squeeze through mine. So, what’s a guy to do? Donate stuff one thing at a time of course! Weeee!!!

So for the next 30 days, I will donate at least one thing PER DAY. I can give it to anyone that I want. Well, people not in my house, that wouldn’t help. I encourage you to join me. Donate to goodwill places, your friends, the guy walking down the street. Whoever you want! Pretend you are Bruce Wayne giving your sweet jacket to a homeless man before embarking on a mystical journey. Whatever, just do it. Come back here and post what you have given away. I will post every couple days, no need to spam the airwaves daily. Although, I will Twitter it, but that’s really made for spewing out bits isn’t it?

As it is the 1st of the month, I will start the donating off with the donation to the local second hand store of one sweater that I have NEVER even worn! It’s red and soft, but I can’t stand it. So, bye-bye sweater! Let the donations commence!

The major problem is your coworkers. Family, friends, they are easy. Just hand them the business card that says, ‘I took a vow of silence, suck it.’ and most will just nod and carry on. But try that on your boss and they won’t be your boss for long. And not because you get promoted above them. Now, if you have a cool boss, just give them the card or tell them beforehand. If your boss is a jackass, you may have to try something else. You can go with the sore throat, lost my voice, method. But that’s lying and we aren’t about lying here, but about being painfully truthful. So now, I will share with you how to keep perfectly silent around your coworkers and boss. It depends on two traits of most people.

One is people love to talk and two is that people hate, HATE, awkward silences.

So, here is the situation. You are in a meeting. The boss asks a question that you should answer. What to do? Say something? Pee your pants? Nope. Just wait! You will be amazed at how someone will ALWAYS say something or the boss will even ask someone directly other than you! People hate awkward silences more than anything. Now, if they are looking directly at you, this is what you do. Put on a puzzled-trying-to-figure-it-out expression on your face, stroke your chin and make a low humming sound, kinda like “Hmmm…” Then shrug your shoulders as if you don’t know and look at the person next to you or someone you think might have the answer. Then, just keep STARING right at them, they will cave. Trust me. Works every time. Then chuckle to yourself and continue your no speaking experiment.

So, since I had a shiny new MacBook in front of me, I thought I would write my own.

Mac. Easy as 1 – 2 3

1. Save money.
2. Save money.
3. Blow money and use your credit card since you’ll only have enough money saved right before they come out with a new model anyway.
4. Get computer.
5. Marvel at the shiny box.
6. Sit through annoying welcome video, hope to god your volume is turned down. Guess what, it isn’t.
7. Sit through pathetic ads for MobileMe.
8. Register computer, did you check the ‘Don’t send me email’ option?
9. Take a crazy picture for your account, make sure to use one of the special effects.
10. Remove bloatware from dock that is as long as the screen: Dashboard, Preview, Address Book, iPhoto, iTunes, Mail, Safari, Garageband, Time Machine, System Preferences, iChat, iCal, iMovie, Spaces, Documents, Downloads.
11. Install updates (April 2009) – 368MB.
12. Restart.
13. Frozen update screen, clear update cache, start over.
14. Install updates (April 2009) – 4MB.
15. Install antivirus software.
16. Update antivirus software.
17. Install drivers for peripherals. Not needed! Well, as long as you buy an Apple product, otherwise, good luck, it may still work. Kinda.
18. Remove optional Apple products, GarageBand comes to mind, admit it, you’ve never even opened it.
19. Run Disk Utility, repair permissions.
20. Wait 2 hours for it to finish and tell you something you don’t understand.
21. Read online instruction manual. As if, Macs just work, no instructions needed.
22. Start making crazy movies to post to YouTube about the awesomeness of Macs.
23. Read this post on your shiny Mac, get flustered. Then calm down and admit to yourself all of it is true.

Here is the original ad
PC Easy as 1 – 2 3
1 Remove unneeded bloatware
2 Configure security settings
3 Download and install OS security patches
4 Restart
5 Download and install extra security programs
6 Restart
7 Download / install drivers for peripherals
8 Restart
9 Remove optional Windows components
10 Update new virus list
11 UpdateRun full system virus scan
12. Update new malware list
13. Run full system malware scan
14 Download / install application updates
15 Restart
16 Clean out system registry
17 Repair corrupt system registry
18 Defragment hard drive
19. Free up disk space
20 Scan disk for erros
21 run system file checker
22 Read online instruction manual
23 Cross fingers

Yeah, right.

This one is going in the failure bucket. I know, you want me to be like every other self help book out there that tells the story of some rich ass dot com person who gave it all up and moved to a farm to grow their own food. Well, good for them. For the rest of us, it isn’t really possible. My first problem was the wasps, and once I spent some money, it went downhill quickly.

The one great thing I learned is waiting a while after wanting to purchase something will get rid of about 75% of the stuff. I realized after a few days that I just didn’t need said item like I thought I did. Or, I fixed something that broke. Crazy, I know. But that is what this blog is all about. Booyah.

Words to live by, although no one actually does. If there is one thing we all do to much of it is talk. Or tweet. Or blog. Most people don’t listen to other people, the world, even their own hearts.

Wow, that was a warm and fuzzy sentence. Enough of that. The next little experiment I tried was that I decided to not speak for 7 days. I thought about going my normal 30 days, but that seemed a little extreme since I have family, friends, work and fellow commuters that continually need me to vocalize about something.

So I started with 7 days. Also,instead of lying and saying I lost my voice, I carried around a little card that said, “I have taken a vow of silence for 7 days, so suck it.” I didn’t think it would be that hard since I still have all the electronic communication methods.

Boy, was I wrong.

Damn bugs.

I had to go out and buy something. Wasp spray! I have a giant mess of them swarming all around building nests on the house and fence. So, I had to go get some spray. There goes my first buckaroos, 7 to be exact.

But other than that, I haven’t purchased anything but gasoline and food! No one is more amazed than I am. Someone did ask me to donate some money to a disease related charity, but I had to say no. Maybe next month.

So the first thing I realized is I buy coffee way more often than I thought. I thought maybe a few times a week, but it turns out to be more like a few times a day! You don’t realize how much your co-workers and friends are always going out for coffee. So, I had to make my own or go without. Maybe I should have done 30 days with no coffee this month as well.

Then I had my hedge trimmer break in the middle of spring cleanup around the country estate. What to do? Fix it? Not likely. Buy another one, you know the answer to that. So, I asked the neighbor to borrow one. Imagine that! Not only did I get to chit chat with the neighbor, but I didn’t have to spend any money. I also borrowed a power cord, since I ran over mine with the mower. You think it was just one of those days, but I think those days happen more often than you think and you only think about it when you can’t buy anything to help.

So far, so good, I think the weekends are my big spending days, so we shall see.

Total spent on stuff that isn’t food or gas: $0. Booyah.

Now, this is not going to go over well with the people who want the economy to get going again, when people save their money, it doesn’t help things. But maybe the economy should be based on stuff we actually need, that seems like it would be more stable. But, I’m not an expert and we all know how right experts usually are regarding the economy.

So for the next 30 days, the month of April, I will severely curtail my spending. But first, let’s get some ground rules down.

The first is to make a list of the things I have to use, no matter what. Now some of you may argue, but that’s too bad, this is for me and my situation.
The second is you don’t talk about… oh wait. that is something else, guess there is only one rule.

So here is my list of purchases that I will have to make:

• Food, this can only be the raw ingredients, no $6 coffee, common sense applies.
• Gas. Yes, I know you live somewhere that has great public transportation, I don’t. But I do get around 35mpg, so that isn’t too bad.

Hmmm.. Can that really be it? I’m sure I’ll remember what else I use everyday, but that is the point of all this. To get to know myself and my spending ways.

What is Polyamory you ask? I had never heard of the word before, it wasn’t even in the dictionary until a few years ago. Well, according to Wikipedia,

The defining characteristic of polyamory is belief in the possibility of, and value of, multiple romantic loving relationships carried out “with the knowledge and consent of all partners concerned.”

My first thought, after picking myself off the floor, was “wwwoooooohhooooo!” It took a while, but eventually some perv.. errrr very loving man came up with a very intellectual word for sowing his seeds in other fields. What a great idea I thought. I’m sure most men have LOTS of love to give and just too few people (read:1) to share it with. Why not share it with as many people as I could, as many times as I could (Which at my age, is probably only once or twice). Revolutionary!

Now, the first thing you need, is a understanding wife. How Steve got his to go along with this, I have no idea. After that, basically a few lessons from Mystery and you are ready to hit the club scene to share your love. Again and again and again. Then when you are exhausted, go back home to your loving wife who supports you in everything you do.

So, my first step was to tell me wife that I was basically going to start seeing other women. But I still loved her and would expect her to behave herself and continue to be a great wife, at home. That is when I for the first time in my life, I had a object thrown at my head by my wonderful wife. Now, I don’t know if she was just firing a warning shot and that is why the shoe missed me, but I decided to make a quick retreat to the safety zone (garage). I hid behind the air compressor until I thought it was safe.

That turned out to be about 4 days, I got real hungry. I’ll put this one in the failure category.

Seriously, why does anyone check email more frequently. It takes me minutes a day to process, I see all of it at once and no one, not ONE person even noticed. In fact, I felt I kept up with people better because I could batch it all at once.

I might even limit myself to every two days now and see how it goes.

For the average person, I see no downside to email once a day. If you do tech support or something through email like that it may be a problem. But for the most part, I would highly recommend everyone try it out.

Here are the steps you can take.

1. Close your email program. Don’t set it to check more often, just close it!
2. Don’t worry about telling anymore, most people won’t notice.
3. Process your entire inbox once a day, don’t leave any emails that you can take care of immediately

So far, I am loving this email once a day thing. Every day, I check my mail around 4:00pm. instead of this trickle of email, I get a nice solid chunk of emails. I can respond to them all in usually about 10 minutes and that is it. I close my email, never to look at it again for 24 hours.

And no one seems to even notice.

One task that gets forgotten in this cleanup and has become the silent lurker is email. Even when you think you are single tasking, you still have that darn email open. Forever trickling in, distracting you by the minute with worthless information. And that is already excluding all the spam and forwards you get. You probably get, what, one or two emails a day that really matter? And even those don’t need to be responded to immediately. You can sit on them for a day, maybe even more and not worry about them.

So I decided to get crazy and follow many people, though mostly Tim Ferriss’s advice, and stop checking email every minute. That’s right, I had my email set to check every minute of every day! I decided to check it once a day although he suggests cutting it back even more.

I realized that the time you decide to check it pretty important. You want to maximize the amount of email you get, so I decided to go for the late afternoon. That way I can respond to everything that has been sent during the day and people will be able to see my replies that evening (for all those suckers checking every minute!) and respond again.

I decided against an auto reply saying I would only check once a day and not even tell people. I wanted to see if people would explode from wondering what happened to me or issue an missing person’s report. This way I can see if it even mattered or if people would even notice since they are also being bombarded with email.

My 30 hour fast went OK. There was a point where I thought I would pass out any moment but then all of a sudden, I wasn’t really hungry anymore. Like a moment of hunger clarity.

When I was finished, I had a nice big burger. I recommend you do not do that, I didn’t feel so hot.

I ended up losing about 2 pounds, but that is only temporary I’m sure. Overall, it was a success, though I didn’t have any revelations or “Eureka!” moments regarding world peace or anything like that. I thought I would end up feeling more like this guy in the picture.

Then 9:00 rolled around. I was feeling pretty good, although already starting to get a little hungry. But no problem, only 30 hours to go!

Around 11:00, I started to get a little faint from lack of food. I usually have a light snack at least by 11:00 so my body was starting to complain. Plus there was some baking going on in the house, so a nice big cake was staring at me from the kitchen. I could have murdered it if I had a fork.

By noon, I was starving, or “starving marvin” as I like to say. Pathetic, no? I hadn’t eaten in 4 hours and I was already regretting this experiment. WWGD? What Would Gandhi Do? Medidate? Read a book? Plan some non violent resistance? Hell if I knew, so I decided to look him up on Wikipedia.

Gandhi dedicated his life to the wider purpose of discovering truth, or Satya. He tried to achieve this by learning from his own mistakes and conducting experiments on himself. He called his autobiography The Story of My Experiments with Truth.

Well, look at that, I feel like Gandhi himself! Maybe he was just doing some caloric restriction experiments and used the whole independence for India as a cover story.

I thought about reading a book but I realized I was supposed to be going through my day just like normal. Too bad my normal routine would be to mow the lawn. Stay tuned to see if i pass out or not while mowing the lawn.

30 hours?! I hear you out there laughing. Especially everyone who has every visited a third world country and have seen firsthand what a lot of people eat (or don’t eat) in the world. Well, too bad. I carry some extra weight around, I consider it more of a parasitic twin really, so I thought 30 hours would tax my body enough.

To get the most out of this fun time, I will start at 9:00am and go to 3:00pm on the next day. I will eat nothing and only have 10 glasses of water. I will go through my normal day and not try to just sleep during the whole thing. I will also sit through all meals with my normal meal companions just to irritate myself even more. Also, I will calculate fat percentage and body weight just for fun (an odd defintion of fun, I know).